Oh, to be young and fit and, especially, thirty pounds lighter

Here I go again, talking about the glory days. Most people lose patience pretty quickly when you start going on and on about how great you once were.

"I used to be able to slam-dunk from the 3 point line! And that was just in grade school! If I hadn't broken both my knees in that freak typewriting incident, I'd probably be playing in the NBA now. I admit, it'd probably just be in one of the smaller markets, like Milwaukee or something, but still...sigh...at least I can type 100 words a minute..."

Yep, there's nothing like the passage of time to augment what you used to be capable of, and there's nothing like signing up for a 10 kilometer run to bring you back to reality.

10 kilometers.

It doesn't look too tough when you write it out.

If you research the record time for the distance, you'll see that it's under thirty minutes (Kenenisa Bekele, 26:17).

"Thirty minutes of running!" you think to yourself, "heck, that's no big deal!"

And before you know it, your 50 Soles are out of your pocket and you've got a pretty slick complimentary Nike Dry Fit T-shirt strapped to your back. It's even got your very own number across the front.

When the starting gun goes off, you embark on a journey of survival and conquest worthy of Bear Grylls. How it plays out depends entirely on you.

The only thing that I can tell you for sure is that it's going to take you a lot longer than 30 minutes.

That was the scenario for several thousand of us on November 11th, 2007 at the Hipodromo de Monterrico by Jockey Plaza. It's no easy feat to organize such a massive event as the Nike 10K, but they pulled it off without a hitch. The route was clearly marked, every runner was given a nifty little electronic chip to precisely measure his/her time, and there were plenty of portable toilets to go around (don't underestimate the importance of this last one...they were even supplied with toilet paper!).

At the end of the race, the runners were greeted by smiling volunteers offering a bottle of power-aid in one hand and a gold medal in the other. All in all, it was a great way to spend a Sunday morning. Much, much better than just laying in bed and chomping on Doritos (my standard training staple).

As for my race, I'm sure I'll soon be declared the winner after I figure out a way to get the other 2000 or so people who finished ahead of me disqualified.

My time of just under 58 minutes is a record for men weighing 200 lbs. who can bench press 225 sixty times.

Ok, ok, maybe I didn't win the race, but I found some solace in the fact that, later that day, the Green Bay Packers defeated the Minnesota Vikings 34-0 once again proving the superiority of the state of Wisconsin over Minnesota.

And as for next year, well, I enjoyed the Nike 10K so much that I guarantee I'll be back. I already went out and bought a copy of "Rocky III" for some training techniques (it's the one where Apollo and Rocky race on the beach in slow motion while covered in some kind of glistening grease). Next year there will be no 2000th place. Next year there will only be laurel wreaths and eternal glory!

The gauntlet is down!

I hope to see all of you there!

P.S. I can't really bench 225 lbs. sixty times, but neither can Kenenisa Bekele.