<< Back July 2005

The Lighter Side
Questions And Answers

Q: You can tune a piano, but how do you tun a fish?
A: You play its scales.

Q: Can a shoe box?
A: No. But a tin can.

Q: Why couldn't anyone play cards on the ark?
A: Because Noah sat on the deck.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Q: Where does Santa go swimming?
A: The North Pool!

Q: What do you call a well behaved pet snake?
A: A civil serpent.

Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by it's diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi.

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that spends all day contemplating the meaning of life?
A: A philosoraptor.

Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?
A: He lay awake at night wondering if there was a dog.

Q: What did the first adding machine say to the second adding machine as they parted company?
A: "I'll calc-u-later!"

Q: What did the papa buffalo say to the baby buffalo before he went to work?
A: "Bison."

Q: Why did the boa constrictors get married.
A: Because they had a crush on each other.

Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.

Q: What is a computer's first sign of old age?
A: Loss of memory.

Q: What does a baby computer call his father?
A: Data.

Q: What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard?
A: The space bar.

Q: What happened when the computer fell on the floor?
A: It slipped a disk.