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Odds & Ends
Street People
By Jim Plunkett

Most cities around the globe have a collection of odd characters that earn their living working the streets.

Back in the 60's and 70's I was rather shocked to return to Manhattan where I had spent a lot of time as a boy to find these homeless characters begging, cluttering, and “uglifying” what was a beautiful city. Before they appeared, the only Street People were vendors that were allowed around St. Patrick's and Rockefeller Center to sell roasted chestnuts and newspapers. The homeless seem now to have finally found homes, and sidewalk vendors are still around, but only to a minor degree.

Not so in Lima. Here you have your choice. Forty years ago, your only choice was a lady in a marginal neighborhood selling anticuchos, beef heart shish-ka-bobs, or some delicious picarones, Peruvian donuts made of flour, sweet potato, and egg, and skilfully dropped into hot oil, shaped into a ring by two fingers of one hand, and served with some warm molasses syrup. Of course in those days, they still hadn't invented cholesterol, and polysaturated fats were still under the microscope, so no one really cared.

Nowadays we not only have anticuchos and picarones, but a series of entertainers and beggars that make each stop at a red light or intersection an enlightening experience. Little tots, dirty and poorly dressed, are brought in from the shantytowns by their parents to beg at all hours of the day and night. They appear to be on their own, but if you observe carefully, a parent or an older member of the family usually supervises them to make sure they turn in anything they get.

Since the routine handouts were becoming passé, innovation was required. A few amateur jugglers appeared on a few popular corners around the better suburbs, some garbed in clown outfits, and a new angle was born. Leave it to the little ones to stand there fascinated at the competition and quickly pick up on their routines. Now you can find ragamuffins no higher than your bellybutton juggling 4 or 5 lemons, or even flaming sticks after dark. The big trick is to finish the act before the light turns green and reap the harvest.

These are the more legitimate Street People. There are others out there with some of the most original acts you won't want to follow. I watched a young boy go into an epileptic fit on the sidewalk near my home, and as I and a group of passers-by ran over to assist him, he held out an empty flask of medicine. After a glass of water from a neighbor helped calm his fit, everyone dug deep to help him replace his medicine. When I went out shortly afterward with my car, I found him some blocks away buying ice cream and smiling with a dirty grin. I quickly stopped, confronted him, called him an impostor, and demanded my 10 soles back. He gladly relinquished.

Then there was the guy with the missing legs who pushed himself around on a rolling sled near the Hotel Crillon, a former 5 star hotel downtown Lima. The tourists as well as the locals patronized this unfortunate character who, with sunglasses and a worn fedora, managed to charm the passing public. What they didn't see was a rather recent model Cadillac that would pick him up after dark around the corner behind the hotel and take him home after a busy day.

Aiding sick children is always tempting. I was approached on the sidewalk in San Isidro once by a modest chap that assured me he wanted no handouts. “My little son is in the hospital in Callao and badly needs serum and medicine. Please forgive the boldness of my request. I don't ask that you give me money, but rather buy me the needed medicines at the pharmacy around the corner.” I liked the approach. No cash outlay, a humble fatherly appeal, a boy in need, and why not? Off we went to the pharmacy. When we walked back to my car, I excused myself for a moment, told him to wait, and in I went to my home with the pharmaceuticals to call the hospital. It took a while to get through, and for some strange reason, they didn't have any Pedro López registered. By the time I returned, he was far-gone. I took the medicines back and they returned my money. The same guy tried to hit me up almost two years later with the same story only blocks away.

Recently I was stopped at a light near a modern Shell station. A tall, well-dressed character comes up to my window and says, “Hi, Gringo! How have you been? You haven't forgotten me, have you? Airport Customs officer?” Rather than give the Alzheimer's reply, I said, “Oh yeah. How have you been?” The next remark was, “Guess what happened? I ran out of gas a few blocks from here and left the house without a cent. Can you help me out?” Naturally gas ain't cheap in Lima; an emergency bag wouldn't go for less than 20 soles ( $6 U.S.). Luckily I gave him my disappointing reply, “Wish I could help you, but I ran out of the house without a cent.”

One of my old secretaries stopped at an intersection in Miraflores and gave a poorly dressed lady a nice donation. When she drove on, her maid turned and said, “Señora, I know that woman.” “Really? Who is she?” “She comes by our neighborhood once a month to collect the rent from two neighbors of mine.” Oh yeah!

Cops are also among the Street People. The best one happened only a few weeks ago when the wife of one of the directors of our fine association was stopped in San Isidro for a supposed minor traffic violation that she didn't commit. When the fat officer with the skinny moustache hinted for a tip, she got flustered and rather irate. She politely blurted out, “I don`t have any money. The only thing I have is this apple.” The officer was seen polishing it on his sleeve as she quickly drove off in a huff.

I really can`t envision sitting at a light or busy intersection anymore just bored to tears. Besides, for a relatively small investment, you can contribute to the local economy!

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